Maggie,
Interesting question to my own question, and I’ll to answer it.
What is it that I would like people to see?
I guess just me. Not dry, stressed out skin, or makeup, all though I have no problem with make up. I just don’t like it much when it’s what you see when you look at a person.
And I have not adjusted to “aging” where my looks are concerned. It’s shocking to watch them change, even slowly, and wonder, “Who will I become?” Maybe it’s even harder when one somehow bypasses so many of the signs of aging, for so long. It’s been this way for me.
What do I want them to see?.… You have me thinking hard now, Maggie, about what THAT question means.
Maybe that’s the answer, for me to think about; what I want people to see…and why it matters to me.
What I have always had a hard time with where my face is concerned is this: always, my every emotion has played out there in high relief. I don’t do deadpan.
It makes me feel very “un-private”, all though I am not, by nature. It makes me want to withdraw from humanity when I am not feeling well, because it makes me feel too vulnerable. It makes me not look as well as I’d like, when I am sad or disturbed. I can, to some degree, consciously control this, but with great effort only, and then only when I am feeling strong.
Hmm….I wasn’t expecting the question, or my own answer.
There is no moisturizer or make up for that “skin” condition. LOL.
What do you think of that?
Is it a bad thing? I would not rather have a robot face; I just wish it were not quite such a conduit for my feelings…
My skin.
I don’t mind when I am around people who are fine with however I happen to be, feel, appear at any given moment. It is difficult when working, say, with the public, or around people who are uncomfortable with what they perceive as “weakness”. It’s also bad when encountering people who are um…. predatory in nature. Hard to protect myself. They tend to home in on anyone who wears their emotions on their sleeve.
Interesting question, Maggie—you’ve made me think. Such a simple question, yet so much to answer.
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