I wake with a jolt, full tilt panic before daylight. Mouth bone dry and my heart hammering, I feel the familiar squeeze in my chest-FUCK! I can’t do this again! I am not ready. I am not ready at all. Oh my GOD, what have I done? I try again. Just go back to sleep, [...]
Archive for October, 2011
Living the Dream
Posted in Musings, Prose, tagged Business, Determination, dreams, fear, Hope, Life, Living the Dream, Personal, Reflection, Work on October 29, 2011 | 8 Comments »
Replacements
Posted in Musings, Prose, tagged betrayal, Death, heartache, Hope, lies, Love, memories, Personal Journey, Reflection, truth on October 12, 2011 | 8 Comments »
Till death do us part. But what if one parts before then? Do you die, so you can make it right? So you don’t have to break a vow? Life goes on—that’s the brutal fact you just can never get around, not alive anyway. It did for me, no matter how long I grieved. It [...]
Sliver
Posted in Musings, Prose, tagged heartache, Hope, memories, Personal, Personal Journey, PTSD, reflections, Scars, shadows, Survivor, Trauma on October 3, 2011 | 6 Comments »
There are blank spots. Certainly I don’t remember everything. The memories I do have are sometimes murky, shadowed. And some are sharp as broken glass. The sharpest ones I live with, like I lived with the sliver of Coke bottle near my wrist for so many years; not visible, not painful, but just “there” where it [...]